December 9, 2014

the happiest day of my life

It only took about 5 months to get these pictures from my sister and about a month after that for me to publish these somewhere, but better late than never, right? I can't believe it's been over 6 months since I graduated. And today it's been exactly 6 months since I moved out. Time seriously scares me.

December 8, 2014

musical memories

Music means a lot more to me than just entertainment or a momentary escape from reality. Since I have a habit of listening to specific songs on repeat for a certain amount of time, I later on associate those songs with specific people, places, moments, and different stages of my life. Today on my way home from work I started thinking about songs that bring me flashbacks from various things from my past. These songs are the ones that popped into my head right away.

Peaches - In the Valley Below

Riptide - Vance Joy

Yellow - Coldplay

Something I Need - OneRepublic

Fast Car - Tracy Chapman

Bloodstream - Ed Sheeran

Springsteen - Eric Church

Home - Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros

She Way Out - The 1975

I Won't Give Up - Jason Mraz

The Scientist - Coldplay

Kids - MGMT

Super Bass - Nicki Minaj

In My Bones - Ron Pope

Ho Hey - The Lumineers

I'm Yours - Jason Mraz

Dear friends, after reading this blogpost, some of you should know which song or songs make me think of you. Even if I didn't separately write down who I associate those songs with. Special shoutout to Nicole, Isa, Tua, Jodi, and Mary-Scott haha. There are a bunch of other songs on this list that remind me of different things or people, but I'm not gonna comment on that more closely. I share a lot of things about my life here but these songs (among many other songs I just couldn't think of right away) are very meaningful to me in many ways, even if you couldn't tell from the lyrics. And I think some memories should be kept to yourself, because that makes them feel more special.

Do you all associate music with memories too? Or am I just strange? Haha let me know :)

December 6, 2014


It seems as though summer days fly by as fast as shooting stars. As cliche as that may sound, it's true. One day you wake up to the sound of seagulls and to the sunlight creeping in through your window, and in a blink of an eye leaves have turned orange like those summer sunsets and are slowly descending to the chilling ground.
Summer is the favorite season of many people for innumerous reasons. No school. Ice cream. Tanning. Swimming in the ocean. Romance. Festivals. Summer cottages. Grill parties... Everything just seems better in the summer. But my favorite thing about summer is the people I get to spend it with. As we grow older our paths start to lead us in different directions and the older we get the further away those paths take us from each other. But for those few short months in the middle of each year, our paths meet and those are the moments we all wish we could relive and go back to in the middle of the cold winter. It's only December but I feel as if we're all on our way to our mutual crossing point already. Maybe it's because I'm looking at all of your faces in these photographs from last summer, but even though we are all currently spread out across the world, I currently feel as if you all are right here with me.

6 months to go.

December 2, 2014

turning 20 & NEW VIDEO

So my birthday arrived and passed and I guess I'm 20 now...
Yesterday was pretty relaxed and even though doing a bunch of things on your birthday is always fun, I think a chill day was exactly what I needed after a weekend of celebrating and after weeks and weeks of morning shifts at work. I spontaneously decided to film a video in the afternoon, and since my sleep schedule is slightly messed up I managed to edit it and upload it last night, so it will be linked below. Nicole came over in the evening and later I had dinner with her, Isa, and my family, which was really nice as well.
I wish I could say that now I'm a year older and wiser, but the wiser part is still missing since I am still just as lost as I was 2 days ago haha. But I guess there's nothing wrong with that, right? But figuring out what I want to do and applying to schools is #1 on my current to-do list.
But here's the video I mentioned, I still feel a little awkward talking to a camera but the more I do it the more comfortable I feel and the less I keep glancing at the flip screen that I use to check that I am in frame. I also apologize for the awkward beginning, I don't even know why that clip is there since I thought I edited it out. But I am too lazy to delete the video, make a small edit and go through the super long uploading process again, so oh well. Now you all know how awkward I feel and look when starting a video.

And I also wanted to say a huge thank you to all of you who remembered my birthday and either messaged me or called me yesterday, it really means a lot to me and you all made my day feel really special. Hopefully being 20 will be the best year yet :) And since it is December it is finally socially acceptable to start listening to Christmas music (sorry Isa) and counting down days until Christmas and I am oh so very excited!! I can't be the only one in full on holiday spirit already, can I?

November 30, 2014

bucket list

I have always thought that people have their lives together or somewhat planned out in their 20's, but there is no way I can figure anything out by tomorrow. Yes, I turn 20 tomorrow. And that is slightly stressing me out.
Most of you reading this, especially if you're older than me, are probably thinking that I'm stressing out over nothing. And maybe I am, but ever since I was a little girl 20 has always seemed like an age that is so far ahead in the future for me, so I feel a little strange that as of tomorrow I will be in my 20's. I had always thought that when I'm 20 I will know exactly what I want to do with the rest of my short time on this earth. I thought that everyone in their 20's is getting a good education, working in their dream job, or are getting ready to settle down. All of that still seems so distant to me.
There are so many things I thought I would do or accomplish during my gap year, and now that it's already half way through, I feel very stressed and a little disappointed. Of course I have done a bunch of stuff I have always dreamed about doing like making a trip to surprise people I love and moving out, but I have so many other things still on my to-do list, and I've only managed to complete a very small percentage of them. Instead of taking time off just for myself and letting myself figure out what I want to do, I've tried to please as many people as I can and make them happy. And I feel like all I've been doing is waking up after a few hours of sleep and dragging myself to work still half-asleep. And even though I get paid to do that which allows me to live alone and buy things that make me happy, that's not all that I want to do during this year. So I've been writing things down in the form of a bucket list. Not that I have to complete every single thing on this list by next summer, but just overall complete as many of these in my life as I possibly can. Here's what I have written down so far:

- Skydive
- Learn to cook/bake
- See the Northern Lights
- Apply and get into an university
- Witness a miracle, any miracle
- Learn to drive and finally get my license
- Ride in a hot air balloon
- Ride a camel
- Move into (and possibly design) my dream house
- Visit The Wizarding World of Harry Potter
- Visit Dubai
- Go to Coachella
- Roadtrip through USA with my best friends
- Go to the movies alone, even just once
- Get married
- Visit Egypt and see the pyramids
- Bungee jump
- Get tickets to the Ellen Degeneres show
- Backpack through Europe
- Ride in a helicopter
- Fall in love
- Find Nemo and P. Sherman 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney
- Learn Spanish fluently
- Spend New Year's in Times Square
- Travel around the world and set foot in all 7 continents
- Visit all 50 states
- Finish creating my bucket list and complete each task

As I have been writing this list, I have also realized that even though turning 20 slightly terrifies me, I still have so many amazing things ahead of me. Even if most of the things on that list sound very cliche or just plain stupid haha. But the fact that I don't know what I want to do yet allows me a lot more opportunities to choose from. There is a quote that says "nothing will ruin your 20's more than thinking you should have your life together already" and I am slowly starting to understand it. Whoever wrote that, thank you.

PS. 2,5 hours left.

November 27, 2014


I think this is the moment I've been waiting for. As probably all of you reading this might notice, my blogging has not been very consistent recently. Why? Because I haven't been feeling inspired at all. I've had absolutely nothing to say, which is pretty rare for me if you know me in person. This break has not been intentional, but I guess I kinda forgot about the existence of this page. But even though I've been extremely MIA here, my mind has been making up for the lost time and the amount of things that have been going on in my head has been extremely overwhelming. And the thing that has always helped me solve out my thoughts has been writing. And for some reason, I thoroughly enjoy sharing my thoughts with people, and in this case you all. Even if it's just one person or my parents (hi mom and dad) who still continuously check up on me here, there has always been someone who has been listening to what I have to say here by reading my pointless rambles about my life. And having someone listen or read what you have to say is a really good feeling.
But as I said, I feel inspired now. I have been gathering up thoughts and jotting them down in various places and when my laptop died and my charger broke a few days ago I had a mini panic attack and the first thing that crossed my mind was how on earth am I gonna be able to blog now. That's when I realized I have to get back into this. Blogging has always made me happy and I wanna keep doing it, even if I sometimes have those short (or longer) breaks from it. Those breaks have happened quite often recently but everytime something fun or exciting happens in my life this is the first place I wanna share it on. And I bought a new charger for my laptop today so I am very happy now.
My camera has gathered a nice layer of dust during this little virtual silence of mine, but everytime I look through old pictures I think about how much I miss taking pictures. And how much I hate winter because I can't stay outside for too long with my camera without feeling like my fingers are gonna freeze and fall off and without being scared that the cold is gonna break my camera. But I also noticed that I have a lot of things I haven't written about and a lot of pictures I have yet to post and I will get to that right away.
I hope that even though I have honestly been the worst blogger in the history of the world that some of you still have some interest in hearing what I have to say and will continue on this little journey I call my awful blogging career haha. I am currently working on 2 or 3 additional blog posts so I can promise you there will be new content very, very soon.
But lets see how this goes this time around :) Hopefully this inspiration and motivation will last for a longer period this time.